Robot Scootaloo
by Alara Rogers
Summary: When Scootaloo falls off her scooter and injures herself, Discord takes her back to his lab, turns her into a cyborg, and makes her watch bad fanfiction. Parody of "Robot Chicken", and technically kind of a crossover, but it crosses over with so many different things it doesn't make sense to put it in crossovers. Way more characters than fit in the character box.
1. It's Alive!

It's Alive!

"Owww!"

In her attempt to dodge the enclosed carriage careening drunkenly through the streets of Ponyville, Scootaloo fell off her scooter and into a rocky ditch. "Ow ow ow that's gonna smart even worse tomorrow ow!" She felt her head, where it felt like a rock had slammed into the orbit of her skull, just above her eye. "I think I'm bleeding ow ow ow. And my knee! And my other knee! And my wing! Ow."

As she sat in the ditch contemplating her various ows and how very ow they all were, something unexpectedly scooped her into the air. "Scooterpie! Oh, you poor, dear little chicken, what a terrible accident! I must fix you at once!"

Scootaloo squirmed around to face the most-likely-totally-insincere owner of that voice. "Discord! What the hay are you _doing?_"

"Language, my little chickadee," Discord said, holding Scootaloo in the air effortlessly with one paw. "Now that you've had your tragic, _tragic_ accident—"

"I just fell off my scooter onto some rocks. I do it all the time!"

"—I must take you to my laboratory at once to fix you!"

"I don't need fixing! And—wait, _laboratory?_ You have one of those?"

"Why, if Rainbow Dash were to see you in this _horrifying_ state, she would cry! And I am _assured_ by the mare herself that if she were ever to do anything as uncool as crying, the world would end! Quickly, little chicken! We need to attend to your injuries at _once_, to SAVE THE WORLD!"

"I am not a chicken!" Scootaloo complained.

"I suppose you are somewhat reminiscent of an emu, now that I look."

"A _what?_"

Without warning they were in a laboratory that looked like it came straight out of a comic book. Blinky lights, test tubes oozing green slime, strange looking devices… and a table, which Discord strapped Scootaloo down on before she could protest. "Hey!"

"Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit."

He reached down with some sort of metal blinking something or other and touched her injured eye.

"It's alive!" he shouted gleefully.

"Of course I'm alive! I just fell off my scooter!" Scootaloo tried to blink and found that only her good eye could close; the other eye was stuck open. "What did you _do?_" she asked frantically.

"Why, I've made you into a robot! Well, technically cyborg, but robot sounds better."

"A _what?_"

"No, not a what, a robot! Or technically cyborg. Here, have a look!" He conjured a mirror. The left side of Scootaloo's face was now covered with a partial mask of black metal, and where her eye had been was a glowing light that appeared to shine a beam, like a very narrow flashlight.

"Huh. That looks pretty cool, actually."

"And now for the important part!" Discord ripped the restraints off Scootaloo, picked her up and dumped her in a chair in front of what looked like two dozen screens. He then strapped her forehooves to the arms of the chair.

"Discord, what the hay are you _doing?_"

"Isn't it obvious?" He brandished some sort of little black boxlike device at her, making Scootaloo recoil. "I'm preparing you to watch bad fanfic!"

"To _what?_"

"You keep saying what. That word, I do not think it means what you think it means."

"What does it mean, then?"

"Never mind. Watch the show!"

He pressed a button on the box, and the screens lit up.

ROBOT SCOOTALOO

WRITTEN, DIRECTED AND PRODUCED BY ALARA ROGERS

WITH VOICES PROVIDED BY THE REGULAR CAST OF MY LITTLE PONY

GUEST STARRING JOHN DE LANCIE AND WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

AND OCCASIONALLY SETH GREEN

BUT NOT SETH MACFARLANE BECAUSE HE'S A DICK

OKAY, WE LIED, HE'S IN ONE OF THE SKETCHES TOO

MY LITTLE PONY CREATED AND OWNED BY HASBRO

ROBOT CHICKEN CREATED AND OWNED BY STUPID MONKEY PRODUCTIONS

NO ACTUAL CHICKENS WERE MADE INTO ROBOTS DURING THE PRODUCTION OF THIS PARODY

_*fwwwt*_

* * *

_Fwwwt is the sound of a channel changing. _


	2. What Could Go Wrong?

What Could Go Wrong?

"It's perfectly safe for me to practice this new spell, Spike!" Twilight laughed. "I've got it covered. What could go wrong?"

"I don't know about this," Spike moaned.

Twilight's horn lit up. She cast the new spell. Nothing went wrong.

"See?" Twilight said. "I told you!"

_*fwwwt*_


	3. A Random Brony Goes To Equestria

A Random Brony Goes To Equestria! What Will Happen?

"I'm a random brony. One day I just woke up and I was in Equestria! And the Mane 6 were surrounding me! The end."

_*fwwwt*_


	4. A Fluttercord Fanfic

A Fluttercord Fanfic

_Rating: T_

_Genre: Humor/Romance_

_Summary: Fluttershy is falling in love with Discord. Will he return her love? FLUTTERCORD_

Fluttershy was worried. Ever since she'd reformed Discord, she'd found herself having feelings for the Spirit of Chaos. Feelings that couldn't be explained by mere friendship. Maybe... love. But wasn't falling in love with the Spirit of Disharmony a quick way to end up with a broken heart? Could he possibly return her feelings?

"YES! HE TOTALLY DOES! TELL HIM, FLUTTERSHY!"

Fluttershy stared in bemusement as a certain pink pony bounced up and down next to her. "Pinkie? When did you get here?"

"Just now, silly!"

"But... how did you know I was thinking about my feelings for Discord?"

"Because I read the summary and it said Fluttercord! That means the two of you are destined to be together in this story cause the writer said so!"

Fluttershy blinked. "That doesn't even make any sense..."

"That's okay, things don't have to make sense! Why don't you tell him right now?"

At that point Discord appeared. "_Buongiornio_, my little ponies! How are my favorite diminutive equines today?"

"_Tell him_," Pinkie said in what was supposed to be a stage whisper, except it was rather louder than that.

"Oh, I couldn't... I mean... eep..."

"My dear Fluttershy." Discord reached down and lifted Fluttershy's chin so she was looking up at him. "Can it be true that you've actually fallen in love with _me_? The God of Chaos? Why, I don't look anything at all like a pony, and I'm completely insecure about it! I'm a hideous, monstrous creature! How could any pony possibly care about me?"

"I care about you," Fluttershy said, fluttered up to him and kissed him.

Discord swept her into a close embrace. "Oh, my dearest Fluttershy!" He turned to Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, be a dear for me and see if the story is rated M?"

"Nope! T rating!"

"Oh. Pity that. My darling, we will have to consummate our passionate and newly formed romance offstage so that the audience can't see!"

"What?" Fluttershy said.

"Never mind. Shall we go, my sweet? I have dozens of roses and a diamond ring and all _sorts_ of completely traditional, non-chaotic, thoroughly expected signs of my affection to give you!"

"Um, yay?"

With that, Fluttershy and Discord disappeared together in a flash. In front of Pinkie Pie there was a giant milkshake glass, taller than she was, with a lengthy bendy straw hanging out of it. It was full of chocolate milk, with a large dollop of whipped cream on top. In flashing neon lights, the side of the milkshake glass said, "Thanks for checking the summary for me, Pinkie, you're a true pal."

Pinkie sighed deeply. "Chocolate milk with whipped cream. Nirvana!"

At that point a random brony stepped out of the Everfree Forest and said "Wow, aren't you Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony?"

_*fwwwt*_


	5. Spike The Magic Dragon

Spike The Magic Dragon

OPENING SHOT: SPIKE, sitting in library, reading a book. Looks up startled as disembodied voices begin to sing.

VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee

SPIKE: I _what?_

VOICES: Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Spike,

And brought him strings and sealing wax and a seven speeded bike, oh

SPIKE: Uh... no, no he didn't! Cause I never met the guy! And also I don't even like strings or sealing wax... though I wouldn't mind a bike.

VOICES: Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail

Jackie kept a lookout perched on Spike's gigantic tail

SPIKE: Um, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but... are you high?

VOICES: Noble kings and princes would bow whenever they came,

Pirate ships would lower their flag when Spike roared out his name. oh!

SPIKE: Ok, very funny, whoever is behind this prank... ha ha, but it's getting old now.

VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee

SPIKE: You said that already... still not true.

VOICES: A dragon lives forever but not so little boys

Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys

SPIKE: What's a little boy anyway? For that matter who _are_ you? Twilight, is this some weird spell of yours gone wrong?

VOICES: One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more

And Spike that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

SPIKE: Hello... I'm still a kid here...

VOICES: His head was bent in sorrow, purple scales fell like rain,

Spike no longer went to play along the cherry lane.

SPIKE: Oh my Celestia that's depressing. Hey, if you're going to sing a song about me in the future or something, could you maybe sing it about me being a big hero, not getting all depressed because some friend of mine died? Also, what is a boy?

VOICES: Without his life-long friend, Spike could not be brave,

So Spike that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave. oh!

SPIKE: You are depressing me.

VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee

SPIKE: Wait, what? First I'm all depressed because my friend died and then I'm frolicking again? What, am I supposed to go senile or something?

VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee

SPIKE: It's Equestria! And I don't live anywhere near the sea! I never even heard of this Honah Lee place!

VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea

And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee

SPIKE: WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!

SPIKE fires a burst of flame at nothing in particular.

ENTER DR. TRAN, a small human male with very small eyes, dark hair and golden tan skin, wearing a green sweater.

DR. TRAN: I see the voices get you too? They never stop bothering me. Even when I go with my friend Leland's crazy grandma to Toy Store, stupid voices still tell me about future like it's happening right now. I going to be completely insane!

SPIKE: Who are you?

NEW VOICE: He's _Dr Tran! _America's top secret agent! He has a Ph. D. in _kicking your ass!_

DR. TRAN: I a five year old boy from Vietnam. Don't listen to stupid voices, they liars.

SPIKE: So you're a boy?

DR. TRAN: Uh-huh.

SPIKE: Do you know a boy named Jackie Paper?

DR. TRAN (sighs) You listening to voices! Never do that! They make you insane!

VOICES: Little Dr. Tran loved that rascal Spike,

And brought him gems and other things and maybe finally that bike

DR. TRAN: I _do not_! I just met him!

SPIKE: Do you actually have a bike? Or gems?

DR. TRAN: _NO!_

SPIKE: Well, excuse me for asking.

_*fwwwt*_

* * *

_Credits: "Spike The Magic Dragon" is a parody of Puff The Magic Dragon by Peter, Paul and Mary_

_Dr. Tran comes from the web animation series "Dr. Tran"; google it, it's hilarious_


	6. The Other Kind of Griffins In Equestria

The Other Kind Of Griffins In Equestria

A small white colt with no mane, wearing a red shirt, appears without warning on the outskirts of Ponyville, holding a strange box.

The colt looks around himself. "Hmm. A nice enough place, it seems... but somehow I've turned into a horse in this dimension!"

A booming male voice says, "Actually, I think that's a pony."

The colt looks around himself. "Brian? Brian, is that you? Brian, where are you?"

"Stewie. Look up," Brian says.

Stewie looks up... and up... and up... tracking the enormous form of the gigantic white dragon that his friend has transformed into.

"Hey, Stewie. How about giving me that box? This place seems kind of cool!"

"No," says Stewie, and presses the button. The colt and the dragon vanish.

_*fwwwt*_

* * *

_Parody of Family Guy: Road to the Multiverse; also references Equestria Girls_


	7. Princess Celestia Bucks A Foal To Orbit

Princess Celestia Bucks A Foal Into Orbit

In the middle of a street in Canterlot, Princess Celestia smiles at her subjects, until she encounters a baby carriage. She looks both ways, observes that no one is paying attention... and bucks the baby carriage into orbit. The foal sails off with a thin, receding wail.

_*fwwwt*_


	8. Sweetie Belle Gets Her Cutie Mark

Sweetie Belle Gets Her Cutie Mark

Sweetie Belle was folding the laundry when a flash appeared on her side. She looked back at her flank.

"I got my Cutie Mark! I got my Cutie Mark!"

She ran to Rarity. "Rarity, I got my Cutie Mark!"

"How wonderful! What is it?"

Rarity inspected the image, which appeared to be a folded pile of laundry. Sweetie Belle craned her head back to see it. "It looks like... a pile of folded laundry?"

"Yes, that does appear to be what it is." Rarity placed her hoof on her sister's shoulder. "How exciting! Your special talent is to fold laundry, Sweetie Belle."

"Well, this sucks," Sweetie Belle grumbled.

_*fwwwt*_


	9. Luna the LUMBERJACK

Luna the LUMBERJACK

Princess Luna, in full regalia, strides out onto a stage, followed by the Mane 6.

Luna cries out in an impassioned voice, "We never truly wished to be Princess of the Night! We wished to be... A LUMBERJACK!"

Cue the music!

LUNA (sings): I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay  
I work all night and I sleep all day

MANE 6 (sings): She's a lumberjack and she's okay  
She works all night and she sleeps all day

LUNA (sings): I cut down trees, I eat my lunch  
I go to the lavat'ry  
On Wednesdays I go to Ponyville  
And party with Pinkie

MANE 6 (sings): She cuts down trees, she eats her lunch  
She goes to the lavat'ry  
On Wednesdays she goes to Ponyville  
And parties with Pinkie

PINKIE (jumps out of the group and directly into the camera for a moment): That's me!

LUNA)/MANE 6 (sings): (I'm) She's a lumberjack and (I'm) she's okay  
(I work) She works all night and (I sleep) she sleeps all day!

LUNA (sings): I cut down trees, I fly loop-de-loops  
I lie back and gaze at stars  
I dress up in tarty clothing  
And hang around in bars

MANE 6 (sings): She cuts down trees, she flies in loops  
She lays back to gaze at stars  
She.. dresses in tarty clothing  
And hangs around in bars? (LOOKING AT EACH OTHER IN PUZZLEMENT)

(LUNA)/MANE 6 (RECOVERING, SINGING CHEERFULLY): (I'm) She's a lumberjack and (I'm) she's okay  
(I work) She works all night and (I sleep) she sleeps all day!

LUNA (sings): I cut down trees  
I wear short skirts  
Socks and underwear  
I wish I'd been a human  
With tits way out to there (GESTURES WITH HOOVES)

MANE 6 (sings): She's a lumberjack... what? (NO LONGER SINGING)

RAINBOW: Did she just actually say "tits"?

FLUTTERSHY: Oh dear...

RARITY: Socks and _underwear?_ (FAINTS)

APPLEJACK: Oh _hayll_ no! (STOMPS OFF STAGE)

TWILIGHT (horrified): Oh, Princess! I thought you were so _innocent!_ (RUNS AWAY CRYING)

(Pan to side, where we see DISCORD, leering, running a camera.)

DISCORD (GLEEFULLY): Luna! Do go on!

CELESTIA (HITS DISCORD ON HEAD WITH FRYING PAN): No one leers at my sister! Even if she is a tart!

DISCORD (DIZZILY): Blueberry or blackberry? (FALLS OVER)

_fwwwt_

* * *

_Credits: Parody of Monty Python's "The Lumberjack Song"_


	10. Read It! Starring Cheese Sandwich

Read It! (Starring Cheese Sandwich)

CHEESE SANDWICH appears on stage, with accordion. Backup singers behind him are Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Zecora. On other instruments, the backup band consists of Octavia on fiddle, Vinyl Scratch on soundboard, Lyra Hearthstrings on piano, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders trying and failing to get their cutie marks on drums.

CHEESE (dancing as he plays accordion):  
How come you're always such a fussy young brony  
You're so picky 'bout the fanfics from My Little Pony  
Well don't you know that authors get to feeling kinda lonely  
So read it  
Just read it

PINKIE, FLUTTERSHY AND ZECORA: Ooo!

Don't wanna argue I don't wanna debate  
Don't wanna hear about what kind of fics you hate  
Karma's gonna get you if you don't bother to rate  
So read it  
Just read it

CHEESE (scowls into camera):  
Don't you tell me it sucks!

CHEESE, PINKIE, FLUTTERSHY AND ZECORA:  
Just read it, read it, read it, read it  
Find an author's ego and feed it  
Have some more random starring the Pie (PINKIE waves arms wildly)  
It doesn't matter if the grammar makes you cry  
Just read it, read it, read it, read it

CHEESE:  
Your reading manners are just awful! Hot damn,  
You haven't even left a single comment, man  
How can you be so cold if you call yourself a fan?  
Go read it  
Just read it

You better listen, cause I don't wanna scold  
So many stories out there that just gotta be told  
Just remember how much you sucked when you yourself were twelve years old  
So read it  
Just read it

PINKIE, FLUTTERSHY AND ZECORA: Now!

CHEESE, PINKIE, FLUTTERSHY AND ZECORA:  
Just read it, read it, read it, read it  
Set a comment quota and meet it  
Have some more grimdark, have some more HiE  
Even if the wall'o'text makes you wanna die  
Just read it, read it, read it, read it  
Don't you make me repeat it  
Read Alicorn OCs, read Gary Stu  
It doesn't matter if the plot smells like poo  
Just read it read it read it read it  
Read it read it read it read it

(CHEESE and PINKIE dance, CHEESE playing the accordion still, PINKIE performing a kazoo solo)

CHEESE, PINKIE, FLUTTERSHY AND ZECORA:  
So read it, read it, read it, read it  
Stick your butt into a chair and seat it  
Read about background ponies, read about the Mane 6  
There's nowhere else better to get your pony fix  
So read it, read it, read it, read it  
Read it read it read it read it

TWILIGHT (disapprovingly): That's all very well and good, but ninety percent of all fanfics totally suck.

CHEESE: Ninety percent of everything sucks! Just read it!

(PINKIE and CHEESE toss fanfics at TWILIGHT, who desperately tries to catch all of them with her magic and read them all, as they dance around her singing)

Come on, read it, read it, read it, read it  
Don't you make me repeat it (Oh Celestia!)  
Have some crossovers, have Five Score By Four  
Have some clopfics, then go surfing for more  
Just read it read it read it read it  
Read it read it read it read it

_fwwwt_


	11. The Real Reason Discord Turned Evil

The Real Reason Discord Turned Evil

This was going to be the _best night ever_, thought the teenage draconequus, with hearts and stars sparkling in his eyes (literally). He had had some difficulty getting a tux to rent in his size, so he'd had to make his own, but he thought the pink and blue had more pizzazz than a typical black and white tux anyway, and he thought the corsage of flowers that played music was a nice touch.

Sweating slightly, he teleported to Celestia's bedroom door, bypassing all the annoying guards who probably would try to keep him out, and knocked loudly.

And then knocked again.

And then manufactured a number of hands, feet, hooves, paws, claws, and tentacles to continue to knock on the door , incessantly, until his date for the prom finally opened the door.

Discord had a speech prepared for this, but the beauty of Celestia in her prom dress, with her mane styled perfectly and glittering gemstones hanging from her ears, caused him to completely lose track of what he was going to say. "My beet swootiful Celestia! I, uh, I'm here, and you're here, and we're both here, so, um, that prom! Yes! The one that we were going to go to!"

"Oh, um—" Celestia coughed. "Discord, I'm so terribly *cough cough* sorry, but I've just suddenly gotten *cough cough* sick! With, um—" Her entire white-coated body suddenly turned blue. "With the blue flu! *cough cough* It's, um, very contagious, so I *cough* can't go with you!"

Discord stared at her in utter shock, his dreams of the most perfect night ever breaking. But of course it wasn't Celestia's fault that she was sick. "Oh, you poor thing! I could come in and help take care of you—"

"Oh no *cough cough*, I wouldn't want you to get sick! *cough* Luna's taking care of me. *cough* Because she's *cough cough* blue already, so she can't get the blue flu!"

"I could turn myself blue, would that protect me? And look, my tux is blue!"

"No, *cough* only a naturally blue coat protects you *cough cough* from the blue flu. But *cough* I'm so sorry I'm going to *cough cough* make you miss the prom! *cough* Maybe you could come by *cough cough* in a few days when I'm better, and we could, um, *cough* go hang out in the woods? Where, um, it's private and nopony will see us together *cough* I mean because privacy is romantic, right?"

"I—um—yes, of course, that sounds, uh, great. I—I'll see you in a few days."

He reappeared at his home, all by himself, in the middle of nowhere, because that's angsty and tragic. "I was really looking forward to going to the prom," he said sadly, tossing the flower corsage on the floor, where it turned into a mound of ants that immediately began scurrying off to go found a new colony in his pantry. All the ponies at high school that teased him about being an ugly draconequus and having no friends would see that he _hadn't_ brought Celestia as his date to the prom, as he'd said he would, and laugh at him. If he managed to find some filly willing to go with him at the last possible second, which seemed really unlikely even for the Master of Chaos, then they'd laugh because he brought a date who wasn't Celestia after he'd been bragging that she'd agreed to go with him, and if he didn't go at all, they'd know he couldn't find a date.

Hmm. He thought about that. One of the rules of the prom was that you couldn't go if you didn't have a date. But he was Discord, and he didn't play by the rules. He grinned to himself. He'd go anyway, invisible, and watch everything. Then he'd claim tomorrow that he'd been to the prom with Celestia and the reason no one saw him was that he and she spent most of their time in the coat closet making out. And he'd know about everything that happened at the prom, so he could prove he'd been there!

Perfect.

* * *

Proms were unbelievably boring, it turned out.

All the ponies he hated from school were there, milling about and having inane teenage conversations. He longed to spice things up, maybe change the punch to something more _interesting_, or unleash a bunch of rats into the middle of the dance floor, or make the chaperone, old Miss Dried-Up Pruneface (this was actually her name), suddenly start dancing the tango instead of sneering at fillies whose hemlines were too short and demanding that they submit to her magical dress alterations. But there would be time for that later. If he did it now, he'd prove he was here, but then the ponies would start looking for him and Celestia and too many of them were sober for that. If he did it later, he'd prove he was here, and the fact that none of them would be able to find him would have more to do with the fact that a veritable plethora of them would be too busy making out in coat closets with _their_ significant others, and many of the rest would be drunk after some prankster who wasn't him inevitably spiked the punch. (Discord never did anything so jejune and boring as putting alcohol in the punch. He'd never need to; somepony would always do it for him. His idea for the punch had revolved around hot sauce.)

And then a pony who looked startlingly like Celestia arrived, accompanied by that jerkface Prince Sombra.

Wait a minute. That was Celestia.

She was wearing the dress he'd helped her pick out (well, that he'd accompanied her to pick out anyway; she hadn't taken any of his ideas), her mane styled just as he'd seen it an hour ago, and she was laughing and smiling and most certainly not coughing. And she was not blue.

Prince Sombra said something stupid, and Celestia giggled. "Oh, Sombra! You have such a sense of humor!"

Sense of _humor?_ That was what Celestia always said she liked most about _him!_

Discord materialized in front of her in a rage. "Blue flu, Celestia?"

She gaped at him. "D—Discord! What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of _you_, _Princess_ Celestia," he sneered. "You told _me_ you were sick with the blue flu!"

Sombra had the nerve to laugh. "The – the blue flu?" he chortled. "And you _believed_ her? There's no such thing as the blue flu!"

"I – uh, I was just feeling nervous –"

"Oh, no, _Princess_, I see how it is," Discord spat. "You could have just said 'no' when I asked you out, but instead you string me along, pretend you'll be my date, then beg off sick so you can go with some jerkface unicorn instead. What's the matter, was it too embarrassing to imagine being seen with me? Am I too ugly for you?"

"Um, well... frankly, yes," Celestia said. "I like you a lot as a friend, Discord, but, um, you're not exactly a pony, and well, I'm just not attracted to you..."

"Then why were you willing to make out with me in the woods all those times?"

Celestia turned red. "I was experimenting! I'm a teenage filly, I've got hormones! Besides I wanted to let you down easy!"

"Wait, you made out with him?" Sombra said, startled. "You never even let me get to second base!"

"Well, because you and I might get married!" Celestia said. "I didn't want you to think I was fast!"

"You'd better be fast," Discord snarled at her, and threw a pie in her face. Strawberry rhubarb, her least favorite flavor.

Rhubarb, and strawberry, dripped all over her expensive, fancy new dress. Celestia's face contorted with rage, and while Discord was giggling at how stupid she looked with the strawberry rhubarb plastered all over her face, she fired a bolt of magic at him, throwing him into the punch bowl. It crashed over his head, drenching him with punch that hadn't even been spiked yet. All around, ponies stopped what they were doing to stare, point, and laugh hysterically.

Discord got to his feet, slowly. "Stand me up for the prom, will you? Dump me for some loser unicorn, will you? _Ruin_ my _tux?_ Oh, Celestia, you don't know what you've started, my _dear."_ He began cackling maniacally, throwing his mismatched hands out as the ceiling transformed into thick pink stormclouds. "From this point forward, chaos will _reign free_ all over Equestria! I will be your _DOOM!_ Hahahahahahahaha!"

* * *

Fluttershy stared at Discord as he got to this point in his story. "Um... are you saying you turned evil because Princess Celestia stood you up at the prom? Isn't that... um... totally lame? Not that that's so bad or anything..."

"I was young!" Discord said defensively.

_fwwwt_


End file.
